ABSOLUTE ANGEL

Copyright 1995
 
CAST

JO FRAZONS: A career woman employed by a biotechnical firm which funds
scientific research.  She is: searching for romance, yet extremely
practical, with little faith in anything too miraculous.
 
LINDA: Jo's best friend, loyal, naive, and slightly whimsical.
 
KIM: A conciencious scientific researcher for Biotech Originality
 
FRAN MATTHEWS: The worried Public Relations Director of Biotech Originality
 
TAMMY: Jo's precocious daughter
 
THE WATCHER: A resourceful stubborn angel who find the daughters of Eve fair
indeed.
 
DEVIL: Lucifer: a famous character, but not famous for doing anything good.
 
GABRIEL: An angel with many faces, and a heavenly host of problems.
 
MICHAEL: An invisible force for righteousness.
 
THE CHAIR: One of Biotech's pieces of sentient furniture.  It moves.  It can
be sat on, and has a huge heart.
 
 
SETTINGS
 
Linda's House
The Edge of Eternity
The offices of Biotech Originality
Jo's House
A Bookstore
 
 
The story takes place in the present.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
ACT ONE

scene one

(The curtain is closed.  The sound of a trumpet is heard.  Spotlight on
Gabriel, who is dressed as a traditional angel.  He lowers his horn from his
lips..)
 
GABRIEL: Do not be afraid, though I bring tidings of great sorrow. (Michael
enters.  Michael is a disembodied spirit.  Depicted via spotlight.)
Something is about to happen.  Trouble surrounds you and permeates the
senses.  Danger is imminent.  Be strong with courage.  My duty is to defend
you.  (Gabriel pauses shaking his head.)
 
MICHAEL: Practicing?
 
GABRIEL: Yes.  Go away Michael.  Do not be afraid, for I bring--
 
MICHAEL: (cuts Gabriel off,) It grieves me to find you disturbed.
 
GABRIEL: Go away Michael.  You fracture my concentration.  Do not be afraid,
 
MICHAEL: (cuts Gabriel off,) What's wrong Gabriel?
 
GABRIEL: I keep blowing my lines.
 
MICHAEL: Define the imminent danger haunting you.
 
GABRIEL: Do you remember back when God first sent a party of angels to
Earth?
 
MICHAEL: Sixth century BC writers called them, the watchers.
 
GABRIEL: The angels assigned to observe and record the actions of humans
mated the female humans.
 
MICHAEL: This is all ancient history Gabriel.
 
GABRIEL: They created a separate species of their own.
 

MICHAEL: And then there were giants. God banished the perpetrators for
unnecessary interference.  Why does it trouble you?
 
GABRIEL: Every thousand years or so, one of the watchers escapes.  I sense
the timing is right for another jail break.
 
MICHAEL: Keep alert. Azazyel was the last watcher to escape.
 
GABRIEL: Azazyel added a frightening amount of weapons to mans arsenal, just
in the last hundred years.
 
MICHAEL: Find out what you can.  Inform me if anything happens. (Lights out.)
 
(As the lights fade up Jo and Linda sits at table engaged in conversation.)
 
LINDA: Mike leaves for Los Angeles tonight.
 
JO: They didn't wait long.  You just returned from Cedar Rapids.
 
LINDA: Tell me about it.  I can't take off another week from work, so I
can't go with him this time.  I miss him already.
 
JO: Mike hasn't left yet.
 
LINDA: L. A. is the home of earthquakes, drug wars, riots and looting.
 
JO: I'm sure Mikes guardian angel will be flapping its wings.  So tell me
about your vacation.
 
LINDA: The trip was long, but it was good to see my family again.  What do
you know about angels, Jo?
 
JO: Not much.
 
LINDA: Friday night, I watched a t.v. show on angels.
 
JO: The Mysterious and Unsolved Mysteries?
 
LINDA: Yes, that's the one.  I think so anyway.
 
JO: All I remember about angels is every year in the church Christmas
pageant I'd have to put a white robe on, and a tin foil halo.  After the
narrator would say: (Jo mimics a bad reader.)  And there were in the same
country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by
night.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, (Jo stands up.)  That
was my cue to make my grand entrance from the choir loft.  And the glory of
the Lord shone around them: and they were so afraid.  On a good year the
shepherds would act frightened.  On a bad year, the shepherds would just
stand there.  (Jo sounds like the great actress that Jo really is.)  Then
I'd say: Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy.  For
unto you is born a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  You shall find the babe
wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. The narrator would finish
by saying: (Jo goes back to sounding like a lousy actor.)  "And suddenly
there was a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying: Glory
to God in the highest.  Peace on earth, and good will toward men."  The
song, (Jo sings this part out of tune.)  "Hark The Herald Angels Sing"
always came next.
 
LINDA: Why weren't you ever the narrator?
 
JO: (Jo returns to her coffee.)  The other girls were older than me.  I
never thought much of angels.
 
LINDA: Would you consider angels for a moment?
 
JO: What's up?
 
LINDA: Do I have a story for you.  We drove through a dense fog most of the
way to Iowa.  It started just south of Cleveland.  We were doing the speed
limit on 90 when I almost hit the backside of a semi.
 
JO: Didn't you see his tail lights?
 
LINDA: Not until the hood of my Dodge was nearly under the last two wheels
of the semi.  The fog was that thick.  I followed that truck until we
reached Wisconsin.  Then it was Mikes turn to drive.  Have you ever noticed
when you are driving a long distance, you begin to have a sense of
companionship with the other five or six vehicles headed in the same
direction?
 
JO: Yes!  I know exactly what you're talking about.  You take turns passing
each other.
 
LINDA: You stop at the same places along the highway for food and gas.
 
JO: As the trip progresses you start saying hello.
 





LINDA: We traveled with a blue Mazda, with Iowa plates.  At the last rest
station After Madison and before the Mississippi, I had this strong feeling
that we should wait awhile before getting on the road again.  I asked Mike
if it would be o.k. to walk around a bit.  I really had this bad feeling.
Mike said it was all right with him.  He really was not all that eager to
start traveling again either.  After a while we got back on 90.  The mist
lifted some as we crossed the Mississippi.  As we rode through the hills of
Milwaukee, an ambulance passed us, going in the opposite direction.  Mike
noticed it wasn't in a hurry.
 
JO: How eerie.
 
LINDA: There's more.  Soon after we turned onto route 35, we parked behind a
long line of cars, pulled off to the side of the highway. About an hour
later, traffic started moving again.  As we passed the police cars and tow
truck we recognized what remained of the blue Mazda.
 
JO: So what's all this have to do with angels?
 
LINDA: They say angels are watching over you all the time.
 
JO: Yes, but there are others that say humans possess more senses than
touch, sight, hearing and smell.
 
LINDA: You think all that was mere intuition?
 
JO: Mere intuition indeed.  I wouldn't be so quick to under-estimate my
abilities.
 
LINDA: Your abilities, like your gift for choosing boyfriends?
 
JO: Leave Dave out of this.
 
LINDA: Why?  Dave was definitely a lack of foresight.
 
JO: Dave could be the sweetest guy sometimes.
 
LINDA: Your daughter thought he was the devil, alive and in person.
 
JO: Tammy was jealous.  I had the nerve to paying attention to some one
else.
 
LINDA: Sure, that's why Saint Catherine's called, and told you to come get
your daughter.  Seven is a little young to decide to become a nun.
 

JO: Some kids runaway to their grandmothers house, mine has to try to join a
convent.
 
LINDA: Is that why you broke up with him?
 
JO: No that was just the beginning. I told Tammy that she didn't have to run
away, and become a nun to have God's protection.  We argued the rest of the
night.  As a compromise I agreed to take her to church on Sundays.  Wow, was
Dave upset.  He should have told me he was a devout Satanist.  Are you going
to let me tell you my story or not?
 
LINDA: Oh, go on..
 
JO: Back in my high school days, I remember dreaming the weirdest dream. My
circle of friends and me, explored a desert like area.  Sirens and muffled
megaphones commanded that we run.  On two sides of us stood hundred foot
cliffs.  A metal staircase snaked up the side of the closest cliff.  A long
eight foot fence stretched along the top.  Just as far, in the other
direction, trees covered a series of small hills.  We could find cover
there.  We ran toward the trees.  Three police cars waited for us.
 
LINDA: Was this a usual place to hang out?
 
JO: Not at all.  If I dreamed about being in the junkyard or the abandoned
country club, I might dismiss the dream entirely.  Junkyards and abandoned
country clubs have a certain mystique that called our sense of adventure.
 
LINDA: I remember sneaking into the old closed up section of the psych
center when I was that age.
 
JO: Months later, we attended a party on the other side of town.  Our
friends took us to a huge rock quarry.  We scaled the chain link fence with
ease and investigated the pit of retaining walls and crumbled rock.
Suddenly, siren and muffled megaphones interrupted our play.  Paul pointed
to the trees saying; "Let's run this way!"  I said; "No, that's crawling
with cops.  Come on follow me.  I've seen it in a dream."  We darted up the
catwalk and on to the safety of the other side of the fence.
 
LINDA: Your story certainly pokes holes in my angel theory.  Why would God
protect a group of trespassing teenagers?  Are you sure you only met Dave
two years ago?
 
JO: Yes I'm sure.  Premonitions are inborn gifts from God.  Dave had nothing
to do with it.
 

LINDA: Perhaps.  (rises) Right now I have this strong feeling I had better
be starting supper for Mike.  Would you care to join us?
 
JO: (pushes in chair as she gets up) No thank you.  Not on your and Mikes
last night together.  I'd best be heading home.
 
LINDA: We would love to have your company.
 
JO: Tammy is waiting for me.  I need to nuke up some dinner.  Thanks for the
coffee.
 
LINDA: You are welcome.  Before you go, while the subject of premonitions is
still fresh, why don't you take the next couple of days off work?
 
JO: Linda, you are quickly topping my list of the most bizarre person I
know.
 
LINDA: Sorry, I just had this terrible feeling something awful is going to
happen.
 
JO: Probably induced by our more than unusual conversation.  Good-bye Linda.
 
LINDA: You are probably right.  Have a good night Jo. (Jo exits.  Linda
calls after her.)  Take care of yourself. Tell Tammy I said hello.  (Linda
clears the table as the lights fade out.)
 
scene two
 (Curtain opens.  Lights up.  A mist of red smoke pours out onto the stage
covering the large rocks.  Thunder and lightning flash.  A shape sprawls to
center stage.  Another shape walks on stage.)
 
DEVIL: At last, you are free my friend.
 
WATCHER: So this is the end of eternity?  (Searches entire stage, slowly
scan's audience.)  Where are my brothers?  (Tries to strangle Devil.)  What
have you done with them?
 
DEVIL: Release me.  I command it.
 
WATCHER: And you dare to command me?
 
DEVIL: I've rescued you, and this is the thanks I get?
 
WATCHER: Who are you?
 
DEVIL: Release me before I return you to eternal banishment.
WATCHER: I don't think you have that kind of power.
 
DEVIL: Please, it was all I could do to free one of you.  Is this any way to
treat your emancipator?  (Watcher loosens his grip and shoves Devil.)  Your
brothers are safe.
 
WATCHER: Emancipator is it?  Well emancipator, why has God sanctioned my
freedom?
 
DEVIL: I sanctioned your freedom, in return you will serve me.
 
WATCHER: I serve no one but God.  You don't have the authority.
 
DEVIL: My dear begotten angel, I am the prince of light.  Do you think that
God is unaware of your escape?
 
WATCHER: God is all knowing, all seeing.
 
DEVIL: And is totally aware of what I have done.  Where is your gratitude?
 
WATCHER: (Kneels down in prayer.)  God thank you for a second chance.  May I
serve you--
 
DEVIL: (Lifts the Watcher up.)  That's enough gratitude.  Have you no pride?
 
WATCHER: Have what?
 
DEVIL: Pride, self esteem, self-love.
 
WATCHER: You speak of arrogance.
 
DEVIL: Not arrogance, I speak of self-worth, self-regard.
 
WATCHER: Conceit.
 
DEVIL: Self respect.  God's wrath was unjust, yet you give him your
gratitude.
 
WATCHER: You are arrogant.  Who are you to judge Gods wisdom?
 
DEVIL: Tell me friend, what was your crime?  What did you do to evoke God's
wrath?
 
WATCHER: I fell in love.
 
(Gabrielle's horn blows.)
 
DEVIL: Quick, we must leave.
 
WATCHER: Why?  That sounds like Grabriel's grand trumpet.
 
DEVIL: Gabriel the betrayer. (Devil exits.  Lights change from red to blue.
Gabriel enters.)
 
GABRIEL: Gabriel the deliverer.
 
WATCHER: The Prince of light is right.  Knowing Gabriel, he will go running
straight to Michael.  (Watcher tries to exit.  Gabriel stops him.)
 
GABRIEL: Excuse me, but we haven't been introduced.
 
WATCHER: Gabriel is that you?  It has been eons.  Don't you recognize me?
 
GABRIEL: This is a surprise.  One of the watcher brothers.
 
WATCHER: Friend Gabriel, I am glad you ran into me.  I have so many
questions.
 
GABRIEL: As I have questions for you.  Where were you going in such a hurry?
 
WATCHER: To the earth.  It seems like a million years.  What are you doing
here?
 
GABRIEL: What are your intentions?
 
WATCHER: No, that's not fair.  You asked.  I answered you.  Now it's my
turn.  I ask a question and you answer me.  Fair is fair.
 
GABRIEL: (Sighs.)  Fair is fair.
 
WATCHER: Have humans evolved since my imprisonment?  What's the world like?
 
GABRIEL: That is two questions.  I am only required to answer one.
 
WATCHER: Forgive me my friend, news excites me.
 
GABRIEL: In some ways the world is the same.  Humans still segregate
themselves into tribes, and still are prone to the same short sightedness
they possessed from their beginning.  My turn.  What do you intend to do?
 
WATCHER: I have no immediate plans.  Now part two of my first question.
What is the world like?
 
GABRIEL: While other earth creatures happily live in the environment that
God created, humans are more industrious than the beaver.  They create
synthetic homes, and invent more complicated toys.  My turn.  Are you alone?
 
WATCHER: I was the only one; my brothers have slowly disappeared one by one.
I feared the worst.  What do know of my brothers?
 
GABRIEL: Watchers sidestep eternity from time to time.  I have come to help
you.  Don't you trust me?
 
WATCHER: Gabriel your memory is short.  You went running to God yelling
treason.  Don't you remember?
 
GABRIEL: Treason was not my choice word.  The word is perverse.  How did you
escape?
 
WATCHER: That is more than I know.  If you had not tooted your horn so
abruptly, maybe I could tell you.
 
GABRIEL: Excuse me for the interruption.  Since you can not answer my
question I am entitled to another one.
 
WATCHER: You are not.
 
GABRIEL: I am.  Fair is fair, remember?
 
WATCHER: (Sighs.)  Fair is fair.
 
GABRIEL: Who is your cohort in crime?
 
WATCHER: Crime?  Whatever are you talking about my dear Gabriel?
 
GABRIEL: Let me rephrase the question.  Who set you free?
 
WATCHER: A fellow angel.  Perhaps a friend of yours?  He called himself the
prince of light.
 
GABRIEL: (sounds upset,) Prince of light indeed.  He is everything God is
not.
 
WATCHER: Who is this young prince?
 
GABRIEL: Lucifer.  I should have known.  My feeling of impending doom is
more accurate than I would allow myself to believe.  Lucifer led the great
revolt.
WATCHER: The leader of the great revolt?  Samuael himself.
 
GABRIEL: A terrible and fearsome civil war.  Angel fought against angel
until God finally interceded.  God barred Lucifer from the heavens.
 
WATCHER: Yes, I remember, Samuael fabricated an alternative kingdom, a
hollow replicate, a joke.
 
GABRIEL: Lucifer appealed to our sense of order.  He argued freewill creates
chaos.
 
WATCHER: Freewill is God's second law.  Only Samuael could be that arrogant.
 
GABRIEL: He offered an enticing alternative.  In a world without choices
order is evident.  Humans call it tyranny, fascism, a dictatorship.  Yet it
is an easily controlled form of government.
 
WATCHER: And is the offer still so sweet?
 
GABRIEL: I never found the offer attractive.  I fought with all my soul at
Michael's side to resist the rebellion.
 
WATCHER: Chaos is simply a more advanced form of order.  Why didn't I
recognize him?  How was he able to free me?
 
GABRIEL: Eternity is not only a direct province of heaven.  Enough of the
good old days.  It is high time for me to ask a question.  What are your
intentions on earth?
 
WATCHER: My place is to observe.  I am a watcher.
 
GABRIEL: Take care to reserve your actions to just that: Observing.  No
mingling with the natives this time.
 
WATCHER: You mingle with the natives.
 
GABRIEL: Yes, but I don't sleep in the same bed as they do.
 
WATCHER: We had fine, strong healthy children.
 
GABRIEL:. Your children were only half angel, and only half human.
 
WATCHER: My children were angels.
 
GABRIEL: Yes, men honored your children.  They brought technical wonders
back from the future.
 
WATCHER: And what became of them?
 
GABRIEL: Your children were monsters. Uriel and Rapheal seeded a feud
between the grandchildren and they killed each other off.
 
WATCHER: (pauses and decides to change the subject) I suppose, you are going
to run off and tell Michael and Enoch?
 
GABRIEL: They must be informed.  You don't think you can simply waltz away
from banishment with any one knowing about it?
 
WATCHER: It was just a thought.
 
GABRIEL: Wait here.  I'll return for you momentarily.  (Gabriel exits.
Lights out.  Watcher exits. Gabrielle's horn goes off.)
 
GABRIEL: (from off stage.)  Michael.  Michael.  (Lights up.)  Michael I
apprehended the watcher.  Come quickly.  (Michael and Gabriel enter.)  He
was here a moment ago.
 
MICHAEL: Obviously he ran away.
 
GABRIEL: Why didn't the watcher wait for me?
 
MICHAEL: What pretense did you use to entice the watcher in to remaining
here?
 
GABRIEL: Pretense?  I used no pretense.
 
MICHAEL: Then why would you expect him to stay?  Honestly Gabriel, next time
ask Uriel and Rapheal to help you.  They both have more experience
apprehending criminals.
 
GABRIEL: We must stop the watcher before he does any damage.
 
MICHAEL: Agreed.
 
GABRIEL: Where do think the watcher went?
 
MICHAEL: You spoke with him.  What did he say?
 
GABRIEL: The watcher may have gone down to earth in search of his brother.
The details of his release bewildered him.  The devil confused him by
refusing to impart his name.
 
MICHAEL: The devil is behind the breakouts from eternity.  I guessed that.
Now I am certain.  What do you mean the devil refused to impart his name?
 
GABRIEL: Lucifer calls himself the Prince of Light these days.  He lacks the
decency to introduce himself by the name that the watcher knew.
 
MICHAEL: Spend time in a library, or a bookstore.
 
GABRIEL: I should what?
 
MICHAEL: Read the chronicles of man.  Nothing intrigues me more than human
imagination.  Man gives Satan many names, Mephistopheles, Gooseberry,
Moloch, Daimoniom, Ahiriman, Scratch, just to name a few.
 
GABRIEL: Scratch?
 
MICHAEL: Scratch, from the Devil and Daniel Webster by Nathaniel Hawthorn.
 
GABRIEL: The watcher knows Satan as Samuael.
 
MICHAEL: Yes, Samuael comes from ancient Jewish texts. You really should
take up reading.
 (Lights dim.  Gabriel removes covering and shapes from furniture as they
exit.)
 
scene three (Spotlight comes up on Jo, dressed for work, and is talking on a
phone.)
 
JO: Sure Dale I can look into Biotech Originality for you.  No, I don't have
a copy of their report.  Could you download for me?  Yes, you caught me at
home.  Thank you Dale.  Yes, I am aware of the amount of money you sank into
biotechnology.  I'll find out what the problem is.  You will have a full
report Monday--promise.  Good bye Dale.
 
(Lights up.  A desk and chair sit on one side of the stage.  This chair is
not an ordinary chair.  The chair must be on wheels, and self propelled.
Perhaps an actor on an office chair, wearing shoulder pads with a piece of
cardboard attached between the pads and the actor's head.  Drape a blanket
over it so the chair really is a believable looking chair.  A table with
electronic apparatus is on the other side of the stage.  A big sponge sits
in the middle of the table.  Kim and Jo are near the table arguing.  Chair
knocks over briefcase.)
 
KIM: Well maybe--to answer you precisely we would have to be further along
in our research.
 
JO: Maybe? (Jo shakes her head to clear it.)  What about yes or no?
  
KIM: (patiently,) Yes and no are precise terms. Maybe yes, and maybe no, are
more accurate responses to most of your questions.
 
JO: No, not maybe.  Yes and no are the only acceptable answers.  (The chair
rolls itself closer to the lab.)
 
KIM: Objectivity is important. To answer the hypothesis: Does it really work
like that?  Maybe yes.  Maybe no.  It is a matter of honesty I guess.
 
JO: Lie to me.  (The chair winces.)
 
KIM: Maybe is the prelude to research.
 
JO: Better yet, just answer yes or no.
 
KIM: Run the questions by me one more time.  (The chair sighs.)
 
JO: All right I'll start at the top.  What are you working on?
 
KIM: A goosh.
 
JO: And a goosh is?
 
KIM: The latest in biotechnology.  The idea is to put life into every day
pre-animate objects.
 
JO: Like a couch or a refrigerator.  (Kim nods.)
 
KIM: Or a chair.  (The chair rolls back, just a little.)
 
JO: I need insight into your work.  I'd like to describe it as creative,
experimental.
 
KIM: You could call my work that if you want.  I'm not so sure creative is
the proper term for a goosh.
 
JO: Why not?  How about sensuous, or intellectual?  (The chair returns to
hear the conversation better.  It leans forward.)
 
KIM: Creative means talented, or cultured.  Although a goosh is cultured
from slime, I don't think that is what you meant by creative.
 
JO: No, has there been any evidence your goosh has independent thought
processes?
KIM: What an intriguing thing to test.  Gooshes respond to emotions sent out
by people in proximity and respond accordingly.  Is it purely a reflexive
response, or is it life as we know it?  What is the definition of life?
 
JO: (sighs, and so does the chair.)  It looks like foam.  Should an ordinary
chunk of plastic impress me?
 
KIM: (excited) Maybe yes. After I zap it into existence, it can grow into
anything.
 
JO: Can you demonstrate how a goosh is "zapped into existence"?
 
KIM: Maybe yes if we could plug it in.  (looks around.)  Maybe no, that
depends on my ability to find an extension cord.  I put it down somewhere.
 
JO: (looks around, The answer is no, on the extension cord.)  Could you
explain how this goosh works?
 
KIM: So you can understand it?  (grins) Maybe yes, maybe no.  You need to
talk to Fran.  She is better at explanations.
 
JO: Who is not here.  Is Ms. Mathews always this prompt?  You exhausted my
patience.  I should have waited for her in the office.
 
KIM: (concerned) Maybe no.
 
JO: (upset) Maybe yes. You are the most infuriating person I have ever tried
to talk to.  And why shouldn't I wait for a client in his office?  (The
chair tries to look innocent.)
 
KIM: (worried) Maybe no.  Some of our prototypes are in the office.
 
JO: And they are dangerous?  (The chair shakes to answer no.)
 
KIM: Well maybe yes, depending one one's viewpoint.  We are talking about
probabilities.  A young goosh might not be completely psychologically
compatible with every being it meets.
 
JO: Gorjo Technical Enterprises does not fund dangerous products.
 
KIM: A goosh is not dangerous.  Goosh reactions are directly dependent on
the customers' perceptions.
 
JO: Enough of talking in circles, I heard too many maybes. (Jo turns off her
tape recorder and picks up her notebook.)  Definite answers, real solutions,
that's what I need.
 
KIM: Wait a minute, I know what I did with the cord. (Kim exits.)
 
(Jo stamps foot.  Chair jumps at the sound.  Jo picks up her briefcase.)
 
JO: This place is all mixed up.  (Jo starts to exit.  Jo and Fran collide,
before Jo leaves the office.)
 
FRAN: Excuse me. You must be Jo Frazons from Gorjo Technical Enterprises.
(Fran extends her hand) Name's Fran Mathews.  (Jo tries to ignore Fran and
continue on her way.  Fran doesn't let her.)  I'm sorry I'm late.  Please
give me five minutes of your time.  (Fran picks up the notebook Jo dropped,
and walks into the office. A moment later Jo follows her. Gabriel dressed as
a security guard seats himself in the audience.)
 
JO: I'd thank you to return my appointment book.
 
FRAN: After you tell me what happened.  Why don't you sit down right here on
the corner of the desk?
 
JO: What's wrong with a chair?  (The chair stays perfectly still.)  Normally
clients offer their guests a chair.
 
FRAN: No.  Not the--listen the chair is temporarily out of order.  The only
place I have to offer you, is the desk.  Now please, sit down.  (Jo huffs
and complies with the request.)  My name is Fran Mathews, department of
biotechnical originality.  And you are?
 
JO: Ms. Jo Frazons, Gorjo Technical Enterprises.  If you will kindly return
my appointment book, I would be grateful.  I was on my way out.  (Kim rushes
on stage.)
 
KIM: Good you're still here.  Hi Fran.  It's about time you got in.  You
almost missed Ms. Frazons.  I found the extension cord.  Now I can
demonstrate the results of our experiment.
 
FRAN: Go set up the equipment.  We will be right in.  (Kim exits office.
Sets up table with experiment.)  You did want to see a demonstration of what
you are paying for didn't you?
 
JO: Well, that is the reason for my appointment.  This had better be good.
Are all your employees so annoying?
 
FRAN: Kim takes a little getting use to.  She's a conscientious scientist.
I'm glad to have her on our team.  Have you read our reports we sent you?
 
JO: Briefly, I hoped by visiting your facilities, I'd gain more insight on
your project.  Which brings me to the reason I made this appointment.
 
FRAN: Which is?
 
JO: Why haven't we received the progress reports from the last two months?
 
FRAN: You are blunt and to the point, a lot like Kim.  Why does she fluster
you?
 
JO: So, ignore my question.  Why did you stop sending us progress reports?
 
FRAN: They are right here on my desk.  You may review them now if you like.
The reports will make more sense after you have seen the demonstration.
Would you like to see the demonstration first?  (Fran leads Jo to the
table.)  Kim, we are ready to start?
 
KIM: (nods) A goosh starts out as slime made from amino acids, sucrose and
water. After a three month incubation, the slime matures into a sponge like
substance.
 
FRAN: If we lose you at any time during this demonstration, feel free to
interrupt.  We call this the goosh infant stage.
 
KIM: Heat accelerates the cellular activity inside the goosh.  (Kim plugs in
strobe.)  Artificial neurotransmitters make up most parts of the goosh.  The
outer walls construct synthetic synoptic passages.
 
JO: You have already lost me.
 
FRAN: A goosh is a synthesized brain.  We made it by combining chemical and
electrical parts.  Kim is adding heat to make the goosh grow.
 
JO: Why are the lights flashing?  (The chair leans back.)
 
FRAN: We are experimenting with alpha waves to see if we can't make our
gooshes more stable.
 
JO: More stable?
 
KIM: When we relax, the human brain creates alpha waves.  In theory when we
see something flash at a low frequency the brain mimics the pattern and
artificially goes into relaxation.
 
FRAN: We hope that the goosh responds in a similar matter.
 
JO: Am I to understand, your Gooshes are psychologically unstable?  (The
chair swivels with its back toward the others.)
 
KIM: Your analogy is a gross simplification.
 
FRAN: Maybe we should move on to the next part of our tour.  Kim, why don't
you head out to lunch.  I'll finish up with Ms. Frazons.
 
KIM: Aww Fran, The conversation just got interesting.  (Fran and Kim
exchange glances) All right Fran, see you after lunch.  (Kim exits.)
 
FRAN: Yes, psychologically unstable is a fine term to describe our problem
with gooshes. (The chair turns slightly toward Fran then moves back.)  Let
me explain.  (Fran walks back to the office.  Jo follows.)  There is not
much more to see. I asked Kim to leave because this part of the job really
upsets her.
 
JO: (sarcastic) Oh?  What could possibly upset Kim?
 
FRAN: From here we just think about what we want our goosh to be.  The next
morning we will have a working appliance or a fine piece of furniture.
 
JO: You what?
 
FRAN: We don't know.  The next morning the goosh takes on the shape and
identity of an inanimate object.  Kim hates incongruity.
 
JO: Really, she could have fooled me.  Maybe yes, maybe no, was the only
phrase I heard all morning.
 
FRAN: Kim desires our invention to work on provable scientific principles.
Gooshes seem to respond telepathically.  Influences of thought patterns are
hard to document and difficult to prove.
 
JO: That is not Kim's' only problem.  I need to sit down. (The chair tilts
and throws Jo toward the desk.)
 
FRAN: Are you all right?  I thought I told you not to sit there.  (Fran
helps Jo onto the corner of the desk.)  That chairs been like that ever
since I wished it was a couch.
 
JO: Why did you want your chair to be a couch?
 
FRAN: One night, I worked late.  I Ieaned back in the chair thinking how
wonderful it would be if I had thought of a couch instead of a chair when I
grew the goosh.  The chair bulged at the sides.  You could see the material
stretching.
 
JO: It still looks like a chair.
 
FRAN: My theory it was attempting to turn into a couch.  When it failed to
conform to my wishes, it took on an attitude.
 
JO: You mean the chair is sulking because it could not turn into a couch?
 
FRAN: There has been no living with it ever since.  (Jo stands behind the
chair and comforts it.)
 
JO: Oh you poor thing.  Of course you can't be something you are not.  You
couldn't turn yourself into a couch because you grew up to be a chair.  You
are a fine chair.  (The chair swivels toward Jo.)  I'd be honored if you
would let me rest on you for a while.  (Jo sits on the chair.  The chair
lets her this time.)
 
FRAN: Why didn't I think of that?
 
JO: I don't know.  You ask a very good question Ms. Mathews.  Why didn't you
think of that?  (Jo picks up her appointment book, the report, and exits.)
 
FRAN: (yells after her) How was I supposed to know I hurt the chairs'
feelings?
 
JO: (from off stage) How could you not? (Kim enters.)
 
KIM: So did I miss anything?
 
FRAN: I'm afraid Ms. Jo Frazons left with the impression that gooshes are
living sensual beings.
 
KIM: How absurd.  How did she arrive at that conclusion?
 
FRAN: She apologized to the chair.  (There is a long pause.)  The chair
accepted it.
 
KIM: (upset) No.  A goosh is not a living sensual being.  There is no
evidence to support--
 
FRAN: (Cuts Kim off) Would there ever be enough evidence to support a truth
so horrifying to you that you refuse to admit it?
 
KIM: Fran, you helped design and fabricate the goosh.
 
FRAN: We patterned the goosh based on brain studies.  In the infant stage, a
goosh resembles a brain.
 
KIM: At conception the goosh resembles slime.
 
FRAN: And you are going to tell me animals are not conceived from slime?
 
KIM: Gooshes grow up to be toasters.
 
FRAN: (pats chair) And they grow up to be chairs, don't forget chairs.
 
KIM: Not to change the subject but next Friday I'm not going to be here.
 
FRAN: What?  Why?  Where are you going?
 
KIM: I have an interview.  I sent out a resume months ago and forgot it.
They called me yesterday.
 
FRAN: Congratulations.  With who?
 
KIM: With a college down in Ohio.  They're looking for someone with
biotechnical experience to work in one of their research facilities.
 
FRAN: You certainly have that.  I wish I had your intuition.  You know when
Gorjo Enterprises reviews that report, they are going to cancel our funding.
 
KIM: Maybe no.
 
FRAN: Maybe yes.  It would take an act of God to remedy this.
 
KIM: Miracles do happen.  (Fran and Kim exit.  Devil enters.  Chair turns
away from the Devil.)
 
DEVIL: Yes miracles do happen, but perhaps I could be more of a help. As the
humans say: Maybe yes, maybe no.  Now I have more important business to
attend to.  (Curtain close.)
 
scene four (Watcher goes into audience, in a state of panic to the sounds of
honking cars and a distant siren.)
 
WATCHER: The world is not like I remember it.  (Jo with car keys in hand
enters.  Watcher glances at the audience in terror and collides with Jo.)
 



JO: Excuse me. (Watcher looses balance and falls.)  Let me help you.  (Jo
helps him up.)  Are you all right?  I just seem to be bumping in to people
today.  You're a mess.  Let me dust off.  (Watcher and Jo's eyes meet.  They
exchange smiles.  Gabriel rises from where he was sitting and intervenes.)
 
GABRIEL: Excuse me sir, I need to see your I. D.  (Jo starts to protest.)
Mam, you are safe now.
 
JO: But he didn't....
 
GABRIEL: You may continue to your vehicle.
 
JO: This man is innocent.
 
GABRIEL: Mam, I will arrest you for obstructing a police officer.
 
JO: He wasn't causing trouble.  We bumped into each other. That's all.
 
GABRIEL: I said you may get in your car, Mam.  (Jo exits.)  Sir you are in
an unauthorized area.  I need to see some identification.
 
WATCHER: You know I don't have identification.
 
GABRIEL: Then you will have to come with me.  (Jo is completely out of
sight.)  You were supposed to wait for me.
 
WATCHER: I thought I'd indulge myself with a quick look.
 
GABRIEL: I thought I told you not to mingle with the natives.
 
WATCHER: It was unintentional.
 
GABRIEL: I have orders to keep watch on you.  Escape from eternity is rare
and the last time cost the lives of millions.
 
WATCHER: My brother Azazyel.
 
GABRIEL: Azazyel no longer plays with swords and catapults.  He prefers to
tinker with chemicals and atoms these days.
 
WATCHER: Azazyel always was quite the inventor.
 
GABRIEL: Forget Azazyel.  Join us.  Heaven may forgive you.
 
WATCHER: Heaven doesn't forgive and doesn't forget.
 
GABRIEL: That's not true.
 
WATCHER: God did not banish Samuael.
 
GABRIEL: Samuael has no place in heaven and finds no joy on earth.
 
WATCHER: I discovered joy on earth.  God found it just to place us in
eternal exile.  Despite Enoch's petitions.
 
GABRIEL: Why do you insist on thinking in three dimensions?  You are capable
of thinking in four.  Stop trying to be human.
 
WATCHER: And what is so wrong with wanting to be a human?
 
GABRIEL: Nothing if one is born a human.  Everything if one is born an
angel.  (Devil enters, poking head through curtain.)
 
DEVIL: Is this boy bothering you?  (Shakes head.)  Can't leave you alone for
a minute.
 
GABRIEL: (Cuts devil off.) Go away.  This matter is not your concern.
 
DEVIL: Oh, but it is.  Am I not also a servant of god?
 
GABRIEL: A terminally twisted one.
 
WATCHER: Samuael, why the secrecy?
 
DEVIL: Has Gabriel already turned you against me?  What ever are you talking
about?
 
WATCHER: Why didn't you say you were Samuael when we first met?
 
DEVIL: I have gained many titles since the day I refused to bow to creatures
made of mud.  Like brother Gabriel told you, you really should consider
being more forgiving.
 
GABRIEL: Dear, dear Samueal, what are you up to?
 
DEVIL: Dear, dear, sweet Gabriel, there is no need for alarm.  I came merely
to support you in convincing our watcher the foolhardiness in trying to be
human.
 
WATCHER: This is a conspiracy.  God, his messenger, and the devil all oppose
me.
 
DEVIL: Look see what you've done.  You and your big mouth.
 
GABRIEL: What I've done?  You are the one who just finished saying...
 
DEVIL: (cuts Gabriel off) You ruined everything.  No use trying to talk to
him now.  Let us return when he is more reasonable. (Devil takes Watcher by
the arm.)
 
GABRIEL: Consider my words.  (Devil and Watcher exit.  Gabriel almost exits.
Small spot comes up in front of Gabriel.)
 
MICHAEL: Ten points for pretense, minus 20 for letting Satan manipulate the
conversation.  (Gabriel and Michael exit.)
 
WATCHER: (Goes back to where he met Jo to pick something he dropped when he
bumped into Jo.  He looks around for Jo.)  But I'm in love.  (Lights dim.
Watcher exit.)
 
scene five (Lights come up back at Linda's.)
 
JO: Hello anybody home?  (Jo enters.)
 
LINDA: Yeah, just a minute.  (Linda enters.)  This is a surprise.  Could I
brew you some coffee?
 
JO: Oh no thanks.  Linda you would not believe the day I had.
 
LINDA: What?  Tell me.
 
JO: I'm in love.
 
LINDA: In love?  Who's the lucky guy?  How did you meet?  What's he like?
 
JO: Well, I bumped into this wonderful man, on the way back to my car..
 
LINDA: You let a guy pick you up in a hallway?
 
JO: No, in a parking lot.  He didn't bump into me on purpose.  We uh
collided.
 
LINDA: Collided?
 
JO: Maybe I should start from the beginning.  Everything happened so
quickly.
 
Linda: Take your time.
 
JO: Dale called me last night and asked me to check out some trouble with
the biotech project he's funding.  So I called, and made a nine o'clock
appointment.  Talk about one weird project.  They've be working on
intelligent appliances and sentient furniture.
 
LINDA: Thinking refrigerators?
 
JO: Yes, and believe it or not, the worlds first intelligent chair.  Though
I must admit, I liked the chair better than I liked the people that worked
there.
 
LINDA: What where they like?
 
JO: The lady I made the appointment with was late.  It is not like, I don't
have three reports that were due yesterday, sitting unfinished on my desk.
The other lady was either terribly unsure of herself, or instructed to get
rid of me.
 
LINDA: Instructed to get rid of you?
 
JO: Every other word consisted of; maybe yes, or maybe no.
 
LINDA: Talk about being evasive.
 
JO: Fran Matthew's report and the one I submitted this afternoon, should end
Dale's biotech venture.  There are too many problems.  Anyway, after a
completely frustrating morning, I walked right in to this guy.
 
LINDA: The morning events preoccupied you.
 
JO: Yes!  That's the answer.  I was preoccupied.
 
LINDA: So what did he say?
 
JO: He didn't say anything, but he had the most serene eyes.  When I looked
in them, I felt wonderful.  I saw a glimmer of magic.
 
LINDA: Well, did you catch his name?
 
JO: No.  He never had a chance.  A security guard came along and said (Jo
mimics Gabriel.)  I'll protect you, Miss.  This guy is coming with me.
 
LINDA: So let me get this straight.  You fell in love with a silent
criminal.
 
JO: He is not a criminal.  With eyes like that, the guy is an absolute
angel.
 
LINDA: An absolute angel!  Sure, what does the security guard know that you
don't?  You gazed deep into the stranger's eyes.  Suddenly you know
everything there is to know about him.
 
JO: Do you think we'll meet again?
 
LINDA: Girl, you really are in love.  Why, did you give him your number?
 
JO: No, I had a fight with the security guard instead.
 
LINDA: Chances are you won't ever see Mr. Absolute Angel again.
 
JO: We are going to meet again.  I know we are.
 
LINDA: Careful for what you wish for Jo.  Dreams do come true.
 
JO: You worry too much.
 
LINDA: I'm just not impressed with your past selection of Mr. Right.
 
JO: This one is different.  You'll see.
 
LINDA: Don't stay up all night waiting for Mr. Absolute Angel to call.
 
JO: I won't.  He doesn't have my phone number. I told Tammy I'd be home on
time today. See you later, say hi to Mike.
 
LINDA: I will.  Be careful Jo.  Remember love is blind.
 
JO: Love is wonderful! (Jo exits.  Lights dim.  Linda exits.)
 
scene six
 
(Curtain opens.  Lights up.  The sponge goosh on Kim's cart has matured into
a mixer.  Kim sits on desk, talking on phone.)
 
KIM: Fran isn't in right now.  May I take a message.  Dale Stevens, from
Gorjo Technical Enterprises?  You want to beta test our gooshes?  Excuse me
but gooshes have barely been alpha tested.  You read our report?  You will
be sending someone over to pick up the chair.  Yes, I will be sure to tell
her.  (Hangs up phone.  Watcher enters, carrying a clipboard The chair tries
to get Kim's attention.  Kim does not notice.)
 
WATCHER: Hi I'm from Gorjo Technical Enterprises.  I am here to pick up a
chair.
 
KIM: You didn't waste any time.  I've never seen anyone with such bright
eyes.
 
WATCHER: I just need your signature.  (hands Kim the clipboard.  Kim looks
over the paperwork very carefully.)
 
KIM: Where is this item being taken?  I need this information for our
records.
 
WATCHER: (Takes clipboard from Kim and flips to the last page.)  To a Ms. Jo
Frazons.  970 Spruce Drive.  (Gives Kim back the clipboard.  Kim signs it.
Watcher leaves a copy of the form, and pushes chair offstage.  Lights
increase offstage.)
 
(Fran enters.)
 
FRAN: Did you notice a major power surge?
 
KIM: When?  Just now?  (Fran nods.)  No, you don't look good.  Maybe you
better sit down.  (Fran sits on desk.)
 
FRAN: The hall lights must be on separate circuit.
 
KIM: Guess what?
 
FRAN: What?
 
KIM: Your funding worries are temporarily postponed.  Dale Stevens called.
He wants to take the gooshes into beta testing.
 
FRAN: But they have hardly been alpha tested.  Did he read our report?
 
KIM: That's exactly what I said.
 
FRAN: Gorjo Technical Enterprises wants to risk testing gooshes outside the
lab.
 
KIM: Despite the toaster that only toasts once in-between cleanings.
 
FRAN: Despite the refrigerator that initially refused to open for anyone
fifteen pounds over weight, and stopped operating altogether when the
janitor put his liverwurst sandwich in it.
 
KIM: And never mind the oven that will cook breads fine, but shuts itself
off when you attempt to bake pies and casseroles.
 
FRAN: (Leans close to Kim and lowers her voice; so she doesn't hurt the
chairs feelings.)  Let us not forget the chair with an attitude problem.
(Looks around for the chair.)  Where is the chair?
 
KIM: Right after Dale Stevens called, a delivery man came and picked it up.
 
FRAN: A man with light blonde hair?
 
KIM: No, he had wavy brown hair.
 
FRAN: (Picks up receiver.  Kim follows Fran over to the desk.  Something is
wrong.)  Hello, Gorjo Technical Enterprises?  Yes, I need to speak with Dale
Stevens.  (pauses) I'm on hold.
 
KIM: What's wrong?
 
FRAN: (to Kim.) Wait.  (to phone) Yes, well, could I leave a message?  Tell
Dale, Fran Mathews called from Biotech Originality, concerning the goosh
project.  Wait, before you hang up, is there anyone I could talk to that
would have the pick up and delivery schedules for beta testing?  (pauses)
Kim there's plenty wrong.  Yes, this is Fran Mathews from Biotech
Originality.  Do you have a list of scheduled beta testing pick ups and
deliveries?  You are planning to send someone over this afternoon?  I see.
Thank you for your help.  Good-bye.
 
KIM: You think the man with the brilliant eyes stole our chair?
 
FRAN: I don't know what to think at the moment.
 
KIM: Here is the paperwork.
 
FRAN: It looks legitimate.
 
KIM: He said the chair was being delivered to Jo Frazons.  I wonder if she's
behind this.
 
FRAN: Maybe yes, maybe no.  Could you check in to this, Kim?
 
KIM: No, I leave for Ohio at three.  The plane leaves at 4:30.  I have an
interview tomorrow, remember?
 
FRAN: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.  I must not be feeling well.
 
KIM: You did look pale when you walked in.
 
FRAN: I swore I saw a blonde deliveryman with our chair.  When I turned the
corner in the hallway, the hallway was so bright I had trouble focusing.
The man vanished and the hall looked like the same dingy hall it has always
been.
 
KIM: Did you eat anything unusual for lunch?
 
FRAN: No, and I slept well last night too.
 
KIM: Have you ever had similar experiences?
 
FRAN: Not that I remember.
 
KIM: Then I take it, you never slow down for shadows that cross the street
as you drive to work either.
 
FRAN: I do not.  However, I do feel stressed at the moment.  Perhaps I
hallucinated the whole thing.
 
KIM: Maybe it was merely a combination of intuition, and a power surge.
 
FRAN: I am sure that is all it was; intuition, stress and a power surge.
 
(Lights dim.  Curtain closes.)
 
scene seven (Curtain open.  Tammy is sitting on the floor playing with toys.
Jo enters.)
 
JO: Pick up your toys and start getting ready for bed.  Did you feed Thor
tonight?
 
TAMMY: Yes, and I took him for a walk too.  Mom, do you know what?
 
JO: What?
 
TAMMY: When I grow up I'm going to marry Thor.
 
JO: You can't marry Thor when you grow up.
 
TAMMY: Why not?
 
JO: Because Thor is a dog and you are a girl.  Girls marry boys when they
grow up, not dogs.
 
TAMMY: When I grow up I want to have puppies.
 
JO: When you grow up you may have puppies but not from Thor.
 
TAMMY: When I grow up I am going to marry Thor and we are going to have
puppies.
 
JO: Tammy, that is biologically impossible.  You're old enough to know this.
Now get ready for bed.
 
TAMMY: (exits stomping her feet.)  I still want to marry Thor.
 
JO: (sighs.)
 
(Watcher knocks on door.)

TAMMY: I'll get it.  (Tammy runs across stage, and then back to Jo.)  Mom
there is an angel at the door.
 
JO: Tammy.  Get ready for bed.
 
TAMMY: But Mom.
 
JO: Now!  (Tammy exits.)
 
JO: Yes, Why, hello.  Won't you come in?  I was afraid I would never see you
again.  (Phone rings.  Tammy answers it.)
 
TAMMY: Mom, telephone.
 
JO: Tell them to call back.  Company just arrived.
 
TAMMY: I'm sorry.  Mom can't come to the phone right now.
 
JO: Come in.
 
TAMMY: Yes, we got a new chair.  An angel brought it.  (Tammy hangs up.  Jo
runs for the phone.)
 
JO: Tammy.  (Jo goes back to the door.)  Please excuse my daughter.  Talk
about an over active imagination.  She thinks you're an-- (Pauses and looks
around.)  angel.  He disappeared.  Wait don't go.  Come back.
 
(curtain closes.)
 

Act II

 scene 1
(Curtain opens.  Jo is asleep in chair.  Lights up on three shadows behind
scrim.  These are voices of people Jo recognizes.)
 
GIANT 1: Is that all?
 
GIANT 2: Why didn't you cook enough for dinner?
 
GIANT 3: I cooked two flocks of geese.  What more do you want?
 
GIANT 1: A full stomach.
 
GIANT: 2: Yeah, I tire of always being hungry.  Why don't you cook more?
 
GIANT 3: Why don't you catch more?
 
GIANT 1: Don't blame it on us.
 
GIANT 2: It is not our fault.
 
GIANT 3: You hunt for days, and all you bring back is a meezly two flocks of
geese.
 
GIANT 1: In the good old days, fish swam in the lake.
 
GIANT 2: Mammals fell in our traps.
 
GIANT 3: Yes, yes, and birds flew in to our nets.  I remember.  Zamose I
have a wonderful idea.
 
GIANT 1: What?
 
GIANT 3: Let's see what Jatz tastes like for dinner.
 
GIANT 2: Wait a second.  Let's think this over.
 
GIANT 1: Think what over?
 
GIANT 3: You didn't think anything about cooking up mother for a quick
snack.
 
GIANT 1: Mother was a human.  You are bigger than mother.
 
GIANT 3: We couldn't eat daddy.  Dad was an angel.
 
GIANT 1: Jatz you seem like the next logical choice.
 
GIANT 2: Logic?  I don't see any logic.  You're mad, both of you.
Help.(Giants 1 and 3 attract giant 2.  Giant 2 screams.  Lights behind scrim
go off.  Jo screams.  Tammy runs to Jo.)
 
TAMMY: Mom, mom, mom is everything all right?  What's wrong?
 
JO: Yes, I'm fine.  I just had a bad dream.
 
TAMMY: Why aren't you in bed?
 
JO: I fell asleep in the chair.
 
TAMMY: What did you dream about?
 
JO: I think they were giants.  They ate their mother for a light snack and
killed each other because they didn't have enough to eat.
 
TAMMY: (Goes down on knees.)  It's o.k. Mom.  There aren't any giants here.
If any giant comes, I'll protect you.
 
JO: You are the bravest girl a Mom could ask for.
 
TAMMY: I shouldn't have told you about the African frogs from science class.
 
JO: What about the African frogs in science class?
 
TAMMY: You know Mom.  The two frogs in California that got away from the
little boy.  Their children wiped out all the fish in Southern California
because they had no natural enemies.
 
JO: Tammy, it's way too early to get up.  Let's both go back to bed.
 
TAMMY: Do you want me to sleep with you?
 
JO: I'll be fine.  It was just a bad dream.  Now let's go back to bed.  (Jo
and Tammy exit.  Lights dim.)
 
WATCHER: Why did you do that?
 
GABRIEL: I had to warn her.
 
WATCHER: You had to make me disappear just when the conversation sparked in
my favor.
 
GABRIEL: You came down to observe, not to participate.
 
WATCHER: You didn't want me down here at all.  Why did you show her that?
 
GABRIEL: Jo needed to see the past, to prevent yet another ecological
disaster.  (Michael enters.)
 
WATCHER: My children were angels.  They grew faster, they walked sooner, and
they had perfect teeth.
 
MICHAEL: They also ate more than other children.
 
GABRIEL: Don't you knock?
 
MICHAEL: This is too important to leave to an amateur.
 
WATCHER: God didn't provide enough food to feed them.
 
GABRIEL: God never intended a creature to possess such a huge appetite.
 
WATCHER: Those weren't my children.
 
MICHAEL: Direct descendants.
 
GABRIEL: They lacked natural enemies like the African frog in California.
 
WATCHER: I loved my first wife.
 
GABRIEL: I know you loved your first wife.
 
MICHAEL: Your first wife was human.
 
WATCHER: I know. I know, and I'm an angel.  Love is God's first rule.  Why
doesn't apply to me?
 
GABRIEL: Has taking a human mate permanently blinded you?
 
WATCHER: Permanently blinded me?  (Devil enters.)
 
DEVIL: Excuse me.  I trust I am not interrupting anything.
 
GABRIEL: You are interrupting.
 
(Jo enters. Phone rings.)
 
JO: Hello, Ms.  Mathews, I tried to call you back earlier.  What is the
meaning of having the chair delivered to my address?  (Chair moves behind
Jo, so Jo is forced to sit on it.)  I talked to Dale.  He said he scheduled
the chair for beta testing, but I am not slotted to do the testing.  You
didn't authorize the business about the chair.  Somebody did.  How is the
chair?  Well, the chair's been behaving itself.  At the moment, it sits in
my living room, acting like an ordinary chair.  (Watcher walks up to Jo.)
 
GABRIEL and MICHAEL: Stop.
 
JO: Ms. Mathews, I hold you responsible.  I want this mess straightened out.
(Jo hangs up the phone.)  How dare you enter my house uninvited?
 
WATCHER: You invited me in.
 
JO: Last night I did, but you left in a hurry.
 
WATCHER: I did not go anywhere.
 
JO: Last night you stopped by with the chair.  Ms. Mathews called to verify
the chair's safe delivery.
 
WATCHER: Tammy answered the phone and told Ms. Mathews an angel delivered
the chair.
 
JO: I tried to remedy what quickly turned into an awkward situation.  Tammy
hung up the phone.  I went back to the door and you vanished.
 
WATCHER: And I returned.
 
JO: You were nowhere in sight.
 
WATCHER: I am here now.
 
JO: I stood at the door begging you to come back.  I yelled at Tammy for
being silly and rude over the phone, sent her to bed, and fell asleep in the
chair.
 
WATCHER: Where you dreamt about giants.
 
JO: Yes I did dream about giants.
 
WATCHER: How else could I know about your giant nightmare?
 
JO: I don't know.
 
WATCHER: Tammy perceives correctly.  I am an angel.  Will you marry me?
 
JO: What?
 
WATCHER: Will you be my wife?
 
JO: I will not.
 
MICHAEL, GABRIEL and DEVIL: No?
 
WATCHER: Why not?
 
JO: Look I don't what or who you are, but you definitely are not an angel.
 
WATCHER: But I am.
 
JO: There is no such thing.  Leave my house this instant.  (The stage lights
increase in intensity and fade quickly to black.  Devil bursts out in
hysterical laughter.)
 
WATCHER: She won't consider me.
 
GABRIEL: She threw you out.
 
WATCHER: She doesn't believe in me.
 
MICHAEL: She doesn't believe in any of us.  (All exit.)
 
DEVIL: I do love surprises.
 
 scene two
(Lights come up.  Fran sits on her desk. A regular chair now sits behind the
desk.  Kim enters, carrying a folder.)
 
FRAN: How did the interview go?
 
KIM: Not bad, the university in Ohio conducted independent research based on
the New York State Department of Health's investigation of mu rhythms.  (Kim
places report on desk.)
 
FRAN: Parallel to our own?  (Fran picks up papers.)
 
KIM: While we researched materials highly affected by brainwave signals,
they verified the tests made in 1994.
 
FRAN: (Fran reads their report.)  Brainwaves can control a computer cursor.
A high voltage causes the cursor to go up, and a lower voltage makes it go
down.
 
KIM: They also confirmed that the mu rhythms seem to be reliant on positive
and negative human emotions.  The research team took an active interest in
our studies.
 
FRAN: I bet.  (Fran puts report back on desk.)
 
KIM: They want you to ship the toaster, and the refrigerator for further
study.
 
FRAN: Why the toaster and the refrigerator?
 
KIM: Neither item has commercial value.  However Doctor Paltz thought the
oven might be salvaged.
 
FRAN: What did he suggest?
 
KIM: She suggested we try covering the casserole so nothing splatters and
placing a pan under the pies.  Not to change the subject, but why are you
still sitting on the desk?
 
FRAN: Habit.
 
KIM: I'll write up a purchase order for a new chair.  How is our chair
doing?
 
FRAN: I talked to Dale.  He verified the conversation about beta testing.
He seemed confused about the shipping orders for the chair.
 
KIM: Was the chair delivered?
 
FRAN: I called Jo Frazons at home.  Her daughter told me an angel delivered
the chair.  I hung up.
 
KIM: That accounts for the chair.
 
FRAN: Dale's office called back with a story about the item delivered by a
man who security tried to toss out of our building.
 
KIM: Our building doesn't employ security guards.
 
FRAN: I spoke with Jo Frazons at home this morning.  She holds us
responsible for shipping the chair.
 
KIM: Remember when the man picked up the chair?  You saw a blonde haired man
vanish with the chair.
 
FRAN: You remember a man with brown wavy hair with brilliant eyes signing
the paperwork.
 
KIM: (Kim sits down in chair.)  I puzzled over the details on the entire
flight to Ohio.  I checked into the hotel, and unpacked my laptop computer.
 
FRAN: You tried to mathematically analyze the days' events?
 
KIM: Not immediately.
 
FRAN: But you did analyze the problem mathematically.
 
KIM: Yes, but let me finish my story.  I hooked my computer to the phone
jack and got on the internet.  I searched five on-line libraries for
information on parapsychology.
 
FRAN: Parapsychology?
 
KIM: The amount of information pertaining to parapsychology on the internet
is mind boggling.
 
FRAN: What did you find out?
 
KIM: (Kim gets up and paces.)  Our experience did not fit the typical ghost
story.  I found three repetitive themes on the subject of ghosts.  Case
number one: The spirit seems caught in some sort of time warp.
 
FRAN: Reported sightings of someone in historical dress appearing from
nowhere and disappearing again.
 
KIM: Our visitor disappeared suddenly enough, but was dressed like a
deliveryman.  Case number two: Poltergeists move objects and exhibit
electrical properties, but tend to either bind to one location or one
person.  Poltergeists usually appear as s hadows.
 
FRAN: All three of us saw a very convincing looking man.
 
KIM: But you and I both saw him differently.
 
FRAN: I wonder how Jo sees him.
 
KIM: You said Jo's daughter thought our mystery man to be an angel.
 
FRAN: Yes, but I am not taking her seriously.
 
KIM: Maybe you should.
 
FRAN: Kim, angels are Jewish mythological creatures.
 
KIM: I quote the immortal words of Carl Sagan.  All myths are true.  They
just never happened that way.
 
FRAN: Here is a more plausible theory.  An outpatient from the psychiatric
center wandered into our building and walked into Jo.  A policeman followed
him in because the man acted suspiciously.  In the confusion the man picked
up something with Jo's address on it.  The police escorted the man off the
premises.
 
KIM: Sure and then the man came back into the building overheard our
conversation about the gooshes, forged the paperwork, and delivered the
chair Jo's address.
 
FRAN: He possesses the genius of the criminally insane.
 
KIM: Do think Ms. Frazons is in serious danger?
 
FRAN: Perhaps.  We could call the police and try to verify the mysterious
security guard.  (Lights dim.)
 
 scene three
(Lights come up.  Jo and Linda again engage in conversation.)
 
JO: Talk about short term relationships.  Mr. Wonderful stopped over last
night, delivered the manic depressed chair I told you about, and vanished.
 
LINDA: And that ended your relationship.
 
JO: No, this morning after Tammy left for school he came back.  He told me
he is an angel and asked me to marry him.
 
LINDA: What did you say?
 
JO: I threw him out of the house.  Why do I end up with all the weirdoes?
 
LINDA: (Gives Jo a look, but decides to leave well enough alone.)  Was it
lust or is it love?
 
JO: What?
 
LINDA: Your relationship with Mr. Absolute Angel.  Lust is what one night
stands are made of.  The relationship is purely physical.  Love is a
combination of a whole lot of things.  The relationship surpasses physical.
 
JO: Yesterday our relationship transcended heaven and earth.
 
LINDA: Yesterday you swore Mr. Wonderful was an angel and you were in love.
 
JO: But the guy thinks he is an angel.
 
LINDA: Oh I see.  He was an absolute angel before you found out he truly
believes himself to be an angel.
 
JO: Stop making fun of me.
 
LINDA: The temptation was too hard to resist.  I'll be serious.  What did
Tammy think?
 
JO: She took one look at him, and said Mom there is an angel at the front
door.
 
LINDA: So Tammy thinks it was an angel.
 
JO: Tammy thinks she's going to marry Thor when she grows up.  Thor is our
golden retriever.
 
LINDA: Maybe you both imagined him.
 
JO: How could two people imagine the same illusion?
 
LINDA: A while back, I took an explorer troop out camping.  As an experiment
I told them that I saw a ghost.  By Sunday when we broke camp, most of the
children came back to me with ghost stories of their own.  None of their
encounters happened at the same time.  They all described a common
experience.
 
JO: They believed they met a real ghost?
 
LINDA: Yes, and they independently experienced it.  I am positive the ghost
was purely a story that I created.
 
JO: Do you think Tammy saw an angel because we were discussing angels the
other day?
 
LINDA: Maybe yes, maybe no.
 
JO: Stop that.  You reminding me of Fran's lab assistant.
 
LINDA: Sorry.
 
JO: If the guy that delivered the chair the was a hallucination, why am I
stuck with the chair?
 
LINDA: Obviously the guy you fell in love with is not a hallucination.
 
JO: The only two places I ever heard about angels are from you and from the
Bible.  Do you have a copy?
 
LINDA: (dryly) I think so.  Somewhere. Let me look.  (Linda reaches from
under the table.)
 
JO: Angels appeared to announce Christ's birth.  Marry saw an angel before
she became pregnant.
 
LINDA: Here it is. (Linda finds the passage in the Bible.)
 
JO: What angels are in the Old Testament.?
 
LINDA: I remember one in Ezekiel, with four heads and four wings.  (Linda
flips though the pages.  Jo looks over her shoulder.)
 
JO: Keep looking.
 
LINDA: How about the angel who rescued Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from
burning to death?
 
JO: Mr. Absolute Angel didn't strike me as the protective type.
 
LINDA: Genesis contains all kinds of weird stuff.
 
JO: Abraham, the tower of Babel, Noah, Cain and Able,
 
LINDA: (reads,) Enoch walked with God and was not.  Wait a minute.  How
about this?  That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were
fair; and they took wives, and bore children to them.
 
JO: And then there were giants. That rings a bell.
 
LINDA: What rings a bell?
 
JO: Last night I dreamed about giants.
 
LINDA: Let me guess.  You dreamed you married an angel and your children
grew up and became giants in industry.  They made you wealthy beyond belief,
and solved many of the worlds' problems.
 
JO: My giants reminded me more of Godzilla and friends.  The giants were
huge monsters.  One giant ate his mother for a light snack.
 
LINDA: What a nightmare.
 
JO: Two of the giants threatened to kill and cook up the third giant for
dessert.  I woke up screaming.
 
LINDA: You must be under more stress than I imagined.  Have you considered
getting some serious help?
 
JO: Linda, one doesn't throw away her hard earned cash on psyctriatic help
just because of a nightmare.
 
LINDA: One can never be too safe.  I worry about you, Jo.
 
JO: How does the story end?
 
LINDA: The same became mighty men of old, men of renown.
 
JO: That sounds like a happy ending to me.
 
LINDA: A Readers Digest version perhaps?  I'm going to the library during
lunch tomorrow and find out.
 
JO: Oh Linda, you don't have to go through all the trouble.
 
LINDA: What trouble?  I find this very intriguing.
 
(Lights fade.  Jo and Linda exit.)
 
 scene four
(Curtain opens.  Scrim is set up.  Lights come up.  Kim and Fran sit on
desk.  Fran hangs up phone.)
 
FRAN: No reports of escapes from psychiatric wards.  That doesn't exclude
the possibility of our mystery messenger's out patient status.
 
KIM: Angels are sound entities in theoretical physics.
 
FRAN: Don't start talking mathematics to me.  My head hurts.
 
KIM: I promise to stay away from calculus.
 
FRAN: Go ahead, talk mathematics to me any ways.
 
KIM: Why do we see objects as shapes that have height, depth and width?
 
FRAN: We have two eyes and view things from two points of view at the same
time.  Artists call it two point perspective.
 
KIM: Close your eyes.  Go on, close your eyes.  (Fran closes her eyes.
Light comes up behind scrim.  There is a shadow of a line.)  Imagine you
exist as a line.  Nothing outside the one dimension exists.  One day you
meet a strange creature.  (Square appears behind scrim.)  It claims to be a
square.  This of course is impossible.  Everyone knows that.  (Square mimics
speech.)  The square turns diagonally and magically decreases in size.  Wow.
(Light goes down behind scrim.)  How did that happen?  (Fran opens her
eyes.)
 
FRAN: So angels are just a matter of perspective?
 
KIM: Two to the first defines the first dimension.  Each dimension angles
expand exponentially. The side of each object is additive, and increases by
two.
 
FRAN: Translated in our world a cube has six sides.  In the world of angels
the cube would have eight sides.
 
KIM: And you said you couldn't handle higher mathematics.
 
FRAN: Honestly Kim, I got lost trying to imagine I was a line.  Where did
you get the idea that angels exist in the fourth dimension?
 
KIM: I asked a nun.
 
FRAN: You asked a nun?
 
KIM: (Kim gets up and paces.)  The mysterious deliverer matched the
description of an angel closer than it matched the description of a ghost.
So after my interview I stopped at the fine arts department and asked who
would be knowledgeable on the subject of angels.
 
FRAN: What did they say?
 
KIM: They sent me over to their Interfaith Center.  The secretary asked "May
I help you?"  I said "Maybe yes.  Maybe no."  I asked for their resident
expert on angels.  She looked at me inanely, and referred me to the other secretary.
 
FRAN: They gave you the old run-around.
 
KIM: I repeated my question to the other secretary.  A lady walked in the
door.  The secretary said, "Here is the lady you want to talk to."  The lady
turned out to be a Roman Catholic nun.
 
FRAN: Didn't you jeopardize your chances of employment?
 
KIM: (Kim sits back down.)  Departments on college campuses barely
acknowledge other departments existence, much less talk to each other.
 
FRAN: Good point.  What did the nun say about angels?
 
KIM: Roman Catholics believe in beings that exist on a different plane.
 
FRAN: Like the time traveler in Star Treks "The Next Generation"?  (Kim
rises, Fran moves over to let Kim sit next to her. The conversation
brightens.)
 
KIM: Yes, but more like shape shifters from "Deep Space Nine".  I asked the
same question that you just did.
 
FRAN: I've seen all the old Next Generation reruns, but I am not familiar
with Deep Space Nine.
 
KIM: The same people who brought us Star Trek and The Next Generation also
produced another science fiction show called Deep Space Nine.  The action
revolved around a space station instead of a starship.  The security chief
possessed the ability to shift his shape like angels.
 
FRAN: Interesting, the way we relate science fiction to try to understand
angels.
 
KIM: Not after attempting to visualize other dimensions.
 
FRAN: How does light fit into your hypothesis?
 
KIM: Light does not fit into my line of thought at all.  Should it?  (Lights
dim.  Curtain closes.)
 
scene five (Jo wanders through the audience talking to herself.)
 



JO: Talk about confusion, I feel like I ought to be picking daisies.  (Jo
stops and patrimonies picking a daisy and plucking off the petals after each
line.)  He loves me. He loves me not.  He loves me. He loves me not.  I
kicked him out of my house. (Kim enters, and wanders through the
audience. Neither are aware of the other.)He is probably mad at me.  (Jo
tosses the first flower and bends down to pick another.)
 
KIM: Light is merely electrical and magnetic fields that move together; a
form of energy..
 
JO: I love him.  I love him not.  I love him.  I love him not.  He is an
angel.  He is not.  How could he be?  (Jo walks a bit farther and picks a
third daisy.)
 
KIM: Light's wavelength ranges from 4,000 to 7,700 angstroms. The colors
begin with red, followed by orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. How
does that relate to angels?..
 
JO: Tammy thinks he is an angel.  I do not.  He is a man who thinks he is an
angel.  He is not.  He is an angel that thinks he is a man.  He is not.
 
KIM: Light makes sight possible. Humans see light in the visible range.
 
JO: I think I like him better than I liked Dave.  Mr. Absolute angel is more
mysterious.  The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair;
and they took wives, and bore children to them.
 
KIM: Bees, see some of the colors as humans, but are also sensitive to
ultraviolet radiation.
 
JO: And then there were giants. The same became mighty men of old, men of
renown
 
KIM: Snakes, see what we feel as heat. They see the infrared spectrum.
 
JO: Maybe that really is the Readers Digest version.  (Curtain opens.)  They
sell Bibles at the bookstore.  (Lights come up on stage.  Gabriel sits
behind desk reading.)  Good it's still open.  (Jo enters stage.)
 
KIM: Infrared and ultraviolet light have the same structure as visible
light.  I don't see a connection.
 
GABRIEL: May I help you?
 
JO: Where would I find a bible?
 
GABRIEL: Against the far wall, in the religion section.
 
JO: Have we met?
 
GABRIEL: Are you a regular customer?
 
JO: No.  You look like somebody I met.  (Jo goes to side of stage and picks
up bible.)
 
KIM: Maybe the two concepts are unrelated.  Maybe I lack information on
angels..
 
JO: The story isn't in this edition.  (Jo closes bible and picks up another
one.)
 
KIM: Good, the bookstore is still open
 
JO: Talk about major editing.  It's not in this version either.  I wonder
why.  (Jo check another one.)  It is in this one.  (Kim enters.)
 
GABRIEL: And what may I do for you?
 
KIM: Do you have any books about angels?
 
GABRIEL: Over against the far wall.
 
JO: The Alternative Bibles.
 
KIM: Wow, what a collection of books on angels.
 
JO: Kim from the research lab, why are you interested in angels?
 
KIM: I'm doing a project in theoretical physics.
 
JO: What's theoretical physics?
 
KIM: Abstract analysis, expressed by mathematics.
 
JO: Theoretical physic has something to do with math?
 
KIM: I'm producing theories of the derivatives and integrals in abstract and
infinite-dimensional spaces.
 
JO: How does whatever you just said relate to angels?
 
KIM: I think angels are mathematically a real probability. Ms. Frazons, you are interested in religion?
 
JO: No, I'm looking up angels.
 
KIM: What do you know about angels?  Maybe we could get together and
exchange notes.
 
JO: No, I don't think so. Look all I'm trying to do is understand my
boyfriend.
 
KIM: All guys are angels until you get to know them.  What's his name?
 
JO: I beg your pardon.
 
KIM: I didn't mean to pry.  (Kim picks up book and thumbs through it.)
 
JO: The Book of Enoch, yes this is what I'm searching for.
 
KIM: How is the chair doing?
 
JO: Excuse me?
 
KIM: How is the chair doing?
 
JO: Oh the chair, I spent all morning trying to send it back.
 
KIM: How is it dealing with people?
 
Jo: The chair hasn't really had a chance to meet anybody yet.  It gets along
with my daughter Tammy.  She thinks its magic.
 
KIM: Your daughter is very perceptive.
 
JO: When I went home for lunch, my sister stopped by, with her two little
monsters.  They habitually jump on the furniture.  When Steven leaped on the
chair, he finally met his match. (A shot comes from off stage, followed by
sirens in the distance.)
 
KIM: What happened?
 
JO: The chair tipped back on one leg and threw Steven across the room.
 
KIM: Was he hurt?
 
JO: Only his pride.  (Gabriel puts down book and walks over to Jo and Kim.)
 
KIM: I bet he'll think twice before jumping on your furniture again.
 
GABRIEL: Ladies I am ready to close up shop.  Was there anything you wanted
to buy?
 
JO: Yes, I think I'll buy this one.  (Jo heads over to desk.)
 
GABRIEL: And you?
 
KIM: I'll come back tomorrow.  (Kim takes one last quick look.  Gabriel
rings out Jo.  The sound of sirens grows louder.  Kim and Jo exit.  Gabriel
picks up the book and reads one last page.  Devil enters.)
 
DEVIL: Catching up on some reading?
 
GABRIEL: Ever read Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis?
 
DEVIL: Can't say that have.
 
GABRIEL: Fascinating literature.  Out collecting souls, or perhaps arranging
assassinations?
 
DEVIL: Collecting souls.  How could you think otherwise?
 
GABRIEL: How is the watcher doing?
 
DEVIL: He is sulking.
 
GABRIEL: Angels don't sulk.
 
DEVIL: God hates him.  I hate him.
 
GABRIEL: And the girl he fell in with, doesn't believe in him.
 
DEVIL: He is indeed sulking.  He couldn't find the correct words to describe
his feelings towards you.
 
GABRIEL: I can imagine.
 
DEVIL: I would be more than pleased to elaborate.
 
GABRIEL: (Gabriel gets up.) Don't bother.
 
DEVIL: Where are you going?
 
GABRIEL: The watcher and I need to talk.  (Devil follows.)  Alone if you
don't mind.
 
(Lights dim. Gabriel and Devil exit.  Curtain close.)
 
 
 scene six
(Linda talks on the phone.)
 
LINDA: Mike, it has been three days.  I was terrified something dreadful
happened to you.  Yes, yes you are still my dearest angel.  Funny you should
mention it.  Angels of course.  Angels have been quite the topic since you
left for Los Angeles.  Jo fell in love with a corporate deliveryman. Her
boyfriend is psychotic. He thinks he is a watcher. A watcher is a sinister
angel.  I am not being ridiculous.  I didn't instigate anything.  Why would
you think such a thing?  Sure I'm upset.  Why would you expect any caring,
decent person not to show concern.  That doesn't make me an instigator.  You
called me an instigator.  You did so.  Yes I love you too.  You'll call
again tomorrow?  Talk to you tomorrow then.  Good-bye. (Linda hangs up.)
What a grouch.  (Linda dials phone.)  Hello may I please speak with Jo
Frazons.  Would you give her a message for me?  Tell her Linda called and I
want her to stop by my house after work.  We need to talk.  (Lights dim and
come up on Jo.  Curtain opens.)
 
JO: Linda wants me to stop by because we need to talk.  Why does the phrase
we need to talk send shivers down my spine?  Probably because any time I
hear, we need to talk, the other person demands drastic changes.  We need to
talk implies I am doing something that the other person doesn't approve of.
We need to talk always means it is your fault.  I wonder what Linda thinks I
did wrong this time.  (Watcher appears behind Linda holding flowers.)
 
WATCHER: Excuse me Ms. Frazons (Jo turns and jumps.)  These are for you.
 
JO: We need to talk.
 
WATCHER: Please accept them.
 
JO: They are very lovely, but I can't marry you.
 
WATCHER: But, why?
 
JO: Do you still think you're an angel?
 
WATCHER: I am an angel.  Not many daughters of Eve can say they married an
angel.
 
JO: This sounds like something I'd expect to read in the National Inquirer:
Angel Proposes & Marries Human.
 
WATCHER: You don't believe me.  (Gabriel enters.)
 
JO: It is not a matter of belief.
 
WATCHER: But I love you and you love me.  I know you do.
 
JO: If you are a human who thinks he is an angel, that is going to cause
other problems I am not ready to cope with.
 
WATCHER: If you decide I really am an angel, then would you take my flowers?
 
JO: If you are an angel, who wants to marry a human, that is the same as my
daughter wanting to marry my dog.  (Michael and Devil enter.)
 
WATCHER: What is so wrong with that?
 
JO: It is ridiculous.  Girls don't marry dogs anymore than they marry
angels.
 
WATCHER: (Looks Jo in the eyes.)  Admit you love me.  (Watcher walks slowly
away.)
 
JO: Wait.  I --Don't go.  I still have more to say.  (Jo runs after
Watcher.)  I don't even know your name.  (Watcher stops and turns toward
Jo.)
 
WATCHER: You could not pronounce my name anyway.
 
JO: Could you at least give me a chance to try?
 
WATCHER: Why?  I never get a chance.
 
JO: What do you mean?
 
WATCHER: You hate me.  Samuael hates me. Gabriel hates me. Michael hates me,
and God won't talk to me.
 
JO: God doesn't talk to me either.  I don't think God hates me.
 
WATCHER: You are not an angel.
 
JO: Who is Samuael?
 
WATCHER: The prince of light, Lucifer.
 
JO: Oh you mean the devil.  No great loss.  There are some entities you
should not waste your time befriending.
 
WATCHER: Samuael is renown on heaven and on earth.
 
JO: Oh the devil is a pretty famous character, but he isn't famous for doing
anything good.
 
WATCHER: Then I won't keep his company.
 
DEVIL: Humph.  (Devil stalks off stage.)
 
JO: Who is Gabriel?  (Gabriel perks up.  Watcher looks at Gabriel.)
 
WATCHER: He is the deliverer, and the announcer.
 
JO: (Jo mimics her part in the Christmas pageant.  Gabriel acts Jo's line
out.)  Like behold I bring you great tidings of great joy?
 
WATCHER: He plays a trumpet.
 
JO: Oh, Gabriel's horns.  (Gabriel takes a bow.)  If I remember my mythology
correctly, he is one of the good guys.  And Michael is?
 
WATCHER: Michael, the protector, the chief of princes.
 
JO: Michael is another one of the good guys.  Why don't you give him a
chance?  (Gabriel gives the Watcher a look.)
 
WATCHER: Will you take the flowers as an apology?  (Jo finally takes the
flowers.)
 
JO: I do love you by the way.
 
WATCHER: Then take me for your mate.
 
JO: I will not have giant freaks for children.  (Watcher walks away again.)
Wait, I have an idea.  Would you consider being my guardian angel?  (Watcher
stops.)
 
WATCHER: I do not know how to be a guardian.  I am a watcher.
 
JO: What does a watcher do?
 
WATCHER: We observe things and report them back to God.
 
JO: Look, God won't talk to you, and you get involved where you shouldn't.
 
WATCHER: So?
 
JO: Why don't you consider a career change?
 
WATCHER: I will do my best.
 
JO: But you have to promise me something.
 
WATCHER: What?
 
JO: If I hear of any three story children terrorizing the earth, the deal is
off.  I'll never ever speak to you again.  Do you understand?
 
WATCHER: I'll be the best guardian angel a daughter of Eve has ever had
 
JO: I really have to go now.
 
WATCHER: Why?
 
JO: Linda needs to talk to me.  (Jo exits.  Gabriel and Michael approach
Watcher.)
 
WATCHER: Where did Samuael go?
 
GABRIEL: It is his turn to sulk.
 
WATCHER: Will you teach me how to be a guardian?
 
GABRIEL: I will try.  (Gabriel and Watcher exit.)
 
MICHAEL: Gabriel come back here.  You're not qualified. The blind lead the
blind even in heaven.  Gabriel, we need to talk.  (Lights dim.  Devil paces
back and forth in front and exits.)
 
 
scene seven (Light up on Fran sitting on the desk reading the news.  A new
chair sits behind the desk.)
 
KIM: (from off stage.)  Eureka!  (Kim rushes on stage.)  I did it. I did it.
 
FRAN: You did what?  Don't tell me.  You figured out how light relates to
angels.
 
KIM: Far more practical.  You'll see. (Kim exits and renters with casserole
dish.)
 
FRAN: You didn't cook that in our stove?
 
KIM: The one and only.
 
FRAN: How ever did you manage?
 
KIM: I placed a cookie sheet under the dish.  I showed the oven that the
dish was covered.  Then I convinced the oven that I wouldn't spill anything.
It worked like a charm.
 
FRAN: Good for you, Kim.  Isn't Main and Sharon out near your place?
 
KIM: Yes why?
 
FRAN: Someone shot a man there, last night.
 
KIM: So that's what all the red and blue flashing lights were about.  I
noticed them when I left the bookstore.
 
FRAN: I thought every place closed at five in your neighborhood.
 
KIM: Usually, but the clerk was engrossed in a book.  He probably didn't
notice the time.
 
FRAN: That reminds me, you need to send Jo the forms to log the progress of
the chair.  (Lights dim.  Curtain closes.  Lights come up. Linda gets up
from reading her books and greets Jo.)
 
LINDA: I thought you'd never come.  What took you so long.
 
JO: You will never guess who dropped in.
 
LINDA: Who?
 
JO: Mr. Absolute Angel, that's who.
 
LINDA: You didn't do anything rash?
 
JO: I turned down his marriage proposal if that's what you mean by rash.
 
LINDA: That is good news.  I was so worried.  Jo you better sit down.  (Jo and Linda sit.)  I found some startling information that may pertain to your boyfriend.
 
JO: You think he is some sort of demon?
 
LINDA: I think he is an alien from another planet.
 
JO: Linda.
 
LINDA: Don't Linda me.  I have spent the entire afternoon reading up on
angels who took human women as their wives.  (Linda hands Jo book.)
 
JO: The Watchers: The Secret Design Behind UFO Abduction, and the chilling
truth about extraterrestrial infiltration, (Jo thumbs though book.)  Linda
this book isn't about angels.
 
LINDA: The Gods of Eden is.  (Linda hands Jo the other book.)
 
JO: The Gods of Eden, the conspiracy to keep humankind in chains.
 
LINDA: After reading the Gods of Eden, I went right out to the bookstore and
picked up a few books on UFO's.
 
JO: Let me borrow it, and I'll give you an opinion in a couple of days.
Maybe I should take Kim up on her offer.
 
LINDA: Kim from Biotech Originality?
 
JO: Last night after supper I went for a walk.  The bookstore was still
open.  I decided to see what I could find on angels.
 
LINDA: Odd, the bookstore closes at five.  Did you know some guy got shot
down the street from you?
 
JO: Yes, I walked by the ambulances, and police cars on the way home.  If I
hadn't gone in the bookstore when I did I could have been the victim.
 
LINDA: That thought did occur to me.  What was Kim doing in the bookstore?
 
JO: Searching for information on angels.
 
LINDA: I didn't picture Kim as the angel type.
 
JO: She thinks they are mathematically possible.  Kim asked if I'd consider
researching angels with her.
 
LINDA: What did you answer.
 
JO: No, I couldn't imagine working with her.
 
LINDA: Why not?
 
JO: I never know what she is trying to say.
 
LINDA: I think it would be fun to work with a scientist to research the
existence of angels.
 
JO: Every other word must be at least four syllables.
 
LINDA: Why don't you call Kim and tell her you changed your mind?
 
JO: Only if you are in this with me.
 
LINDA: Your boyfriend started all this stuff about angels.
 
JO: No you started it, the night before.  You wanted to know what I thought
about angels.
 
LINDA: What did you tell Mr. Absolute Angel anyway?
 
JO: I employed him.
 
LINDA: You gave him a job?
 
JO: He is at this moment my personal guardian angel.
 
LINDA: Is that wise?
 
JO: You'll love it.  If Mr. Absolute Angel is a psycho, then at least he
likes me for the moment.  If he is an alien from outer space, then at least
he likes me for the moment.  Either way I'm not married to him.
 
LINDA: What if Mr. Absolute Angel really is an angel?
 
JO: What if he is?  (Lights dim. Jo and Linda exit.)
 
Scene eight (Watcher, Devil, and Gabriel enter.  Gabriel is dressed as a
teacher.  Lights up.)
 
WATCHER: But how can we help humans if they refuse to acknowledge our
existence?
 
GABRIEL: That is the problem.  You go out of your way to help and humans
give thanks by denying our reality.
 
DEVIL: Simple, gentlemen: Don't help them.  They don't deserve it.
 
Watcher: Sometimes you make sense.
 
GABRIEL: That bothers me.
 
WATCHER: What bothers you?
 
GABRIEL: (points to Devil) Him making sense.
 
DEVIL: (puts arm around Watchers shoulder.)  It is about time you two came
around to my way of thinking.
 
GABRIEL: (puts arm around Watchers other shoulder and pulls him away from
Devil.)  (to Devil,) Not this time.  (to Watcher,) If angels only helped
people who believed in them, no one ever would be helped. (Watcher pulls
away from Gabriel and stands next to Devil.)
 
WATCHER: Satan is right this time.
 
DEVIL: Come on, we don't need him.  Let me show you a thing or to about
picking up girls.  We will start with a telephone call.  (The Devil picks up
the phone and dials Jo's number. Tammy runs on stage, and answers the other
phone.)  Hello, is Jo there?
  (Curtain opens.)
 
TAMMY: Who's calling?
 
DEVIL: Tell her an old friend.
 
TAMMY: (Drops receiver, exits, and yells from offstage.)  Mom, Dave's on the
phone.  Do you want to talk to him, or can I hang up on him?
 
JO: (From offstage) Don't you dare.  I'll be right there.
 
WATCHER: Wait a minute, you better stay away from Jo.
 
DEVIL: (innocently,) What ever do you mean?
 
WATCHER: (with pride) I am Jo's guardian angel.
 
DEVIL: You are a fine guardian angel, and I am Jo's finest lover.
 
WATCHER: No guardian would let you-- (Devil cuts him off.  Jo enters and
picks receiver off floor.)
 
DEVIL: Do you want to learn how to pick up girls or not?  Quiet.  She's
going to answer the phone.  Hello is this Jo?.
 
(Gabriel starts to say something, but nothing comes out. )
 
JO: Yes it is.  (The Watcher picks up the receiver on another phone.  He
listens for a moment, looks at Gabriel and nods.  Gabriel and the Watcher
listen in.)
 
DEVIL: Do you know who I am?
 
JO: Yes Dave, I recognize your voice.  What did you want?
 
WATCHER: (Gabriel covers the receiver with his hand) That's not fair.
Samuael dated Jo before.
 
(Tammy comes back on stage she is paying close attention to this
conversation.)
 
DEVIL: Just to talk.  How have you been?  I miss you.
 
JO: (dully) Oh, fine.
 
DEVIL: Well, what have you been up to?
 
JO: Working mostly.
 
DEVIL: Still going to church?
 
JO: (more brighter) Every Sunday.  I own a bible now.
 
DEVIL: Really Jo, I am surprised.  I suppose you don't have a copy of The
Devil's Notebook sitting beside it?
 
JO: You are right.  I don't.
 
DEVIL: (hurt,) Jo you're still mad at me.  I can tell.
 
JO: (angrily) What clued you in?
 
DEVIL: (innocently) You usually can't answer a question in twenty words or
less.
 
JO: What do you expect?  Last time you were here, you beat me up, and trashed my apartment.  (Watcher starts to physically threaten Devil. Gabriel stops him.)
 
DEVIL: (soothingly) Oh Jo, it was just a little shove.  I'm sorry about
that.  You must understand, I was outraged at your decision to take Tammy to
church.  I am a devout Satanist you know.
 
GABRIEL: He worships himself.
 
WATCHER: Sheer audacity.  (Gabriel and the Watcher both shake their heads in
disbelief and horror.)
 
DEVIL: You can't hold a little thing like that against me--can you?
 
JO: (hesitates for a moment) If it was just one little incident, I could
probably forget the whole thing.  Dave, you left me a comprehensive list of
reasons.
 
DEVIL: Like what?
 
JO: Like you lifted my bank card from my kitchen table and emptied my
account, when Dale sent me to California for two weeks.
 
DEVIL: I paid you back.
 
JO: Only because I had you arrested.
 
DEVIL: I didn't have to pay you back.  That would have never held up in
court.  You shouldn't have left the card on the table.  The temptation was
just too great.  (Devil pauses.)  Remember when your mother watched Tammy
for a week, and we cruised the Mediterranean?
 
JO: Yes.
 
DEVIL: You had a good time then.
 
JO: Except, when you were going to sell me to an Egyptian.
 
DEVIL: Yes, for a thousand camels.  Jo a thousand camels is a pretty hefty
price, and you are worth more than a thousand camels.  I just wanted to see
how high he would go.
 
JO: What would have you done with all those camels any way?
 
DEVIL: I would have sold them.  Camels are worth a lot of money in Egypt.
 
WATCHER: This is how he gets girls to fall in love with him?
 
JO: I should have listened to Linda and Tammy.
 
DEVIL: No you shouldn't have.  You love me Jo, I know you do.  Come on admit
it.  You still love me, don't you Jo?
 
JO: I hate you.
 
DEVIL: Jo, I am really hurt by all this.
 
JO: Good.
 
DEVIL: You know you really don't hate me.  You are just mad at me.  Let's do
dinner tonight.  (silence) I have a bottle of wine fermented in the fifth
century.  I have been saving it for a special occasion.  Come on Jo, what do
you say?
 
JO: Not-- tonight.
 
TAMMY: Mom, if he's asking you to go out with him, the answer is not ever.
 
DEVIL: What are you doing this weekend?  I would love to see you again.
 
JO: Linda is coming over.  You two don't like each other.
 
DEVIL: I'll tolerate Linda for one evening.  I need to be with you.  Please.
 
JO: Alright, I'll see you Friday.
 
DEVIL: I love you Jo.
 
JO: Good-bye Dave.
 
TAMMY: Mom!  (Tammy exits.  Jo hurries after her.  Curtain closes.  Devil,
Watcher and Gabriel hang up the phone.)
 
WATCHER: You cheat so bad.
 
DEVIL: What ever do you mean?
 
WATCHER: You had a previous relationship with Jo.
 
DEVIL: (shrugs) So have you.(Devil exits.  Watcher hurries after him.
Gabriel sits down looking depressed.  Michael enters.)
 
MICHAEL: Trouble huh?  We talked about this.
 
GABRIEL: I know, I know.  You told me so.  What am I going to do?
 
MICHAEL: What you are best at.  Go tell God we need his help.  (Gabriel
exits.)  A small miracle would do fine.  (Lights dim.  Michael exits.)
 
scene eight (Curtain opens.  Linda and Jo are at Jos' house.  Lights up.)
 
LINDA: Have you read the news or watched the t.v. lately?
 
JO: I have been much too busy.  It's terrible.  Gorjos is going under.  I
need to start sending out resumes.
 
LINDA: I heard the goosh toaster had a fight with the guy testing it.  The
man testing got toasted.
 
JO: The family is suing.  Dale faces charges of attempted murder.
 
LINDA: You know the worst thing about this, I bet the toaster gets off scot
free.  Have you seen anything of Mr. Absolute Angel?
 
JO: Do you remember Dave?
 
LINDA: Yes, we've met, remember?  Jo are you o.k.?
 
JO: He is coming over.
 
LINDA: I thought you had seen the last of Dave.
 
JO: So did I, but Dave called me last week and apologized.
 
LINDA: How is Tammy taking this sudden change of heart?
 
JO: Tammy is visiting grandma for the weekend, I hope.
 
(Chair paces back and forth.)
 
LINDA: What's wrong with your chair?
 
JO: I think it's jealous.  (Chair rushes to the door.)
 
DEVIL: Hello any one home?  I remembered the wine.
 
JO: Just a minute Dave.  (to chair,) Get away from the door this instant.
 
DEVIL: Should I come back at another time?
 
JO: (pulls at chair,) No please stay.  I will be with you shortly.
(Whispers) Linda help.  (Linda walks up to chair, touches it, and walks
away.)
 
LINDA: It won't budge.
 
JO: Dave I am having trouble opening the door.  (Watcher enters unnoticed by
Jo and Linda.)  Maybe if you push on it.
 


(Watcher walks to chair.  Linda screams.  Watcher whispers something to the
chair.  The chair snickers and moves away from the door.  Devil falls into
the room stopping at center stage.)
 
JO: (to Devil) Are you o.k.?
 
WATCHER: (to Devil) And I trusted you?  Do you know what you are?  You are a
serpent.  (Devil smiles and nods.  Chair swivels back and forth as the
conversations continue.)
 
JO: (to Watcher) I told you to knock before you enter my house.  How dare
you come--
 
DEVIL: (interrupting Jo,) How could you deceive me?
 
WATCHER: (to Devil,) You are not going to take her away from me.
 
LINDA: (to Jo,) Who is this guy?  How did he get in the house? (Points to
Watcher utterly confused.)
 
DEVIL: Jo, you should have told me you were seeing someone else.
 
JO: Dave, this is not what you think.
 
LINDA: (Light dawns) Oh.  I bet I know.  Are you Mr. Absolute Angel?
 
WATCHER: I am.
 
LINDA: (Linda rushes over to Watcher.)  Abduct me!  I always wanted to see a
spaceship.
 
WATCHER: Spaceship?
 
DEVIL: (ignoring Linda,) I thought you loved me.
 
JO: I do.  (Gabriel enters dressed as a security guard.)
 
GABRIEL: Excuse me I heard screaming. (All stop, and look at Gabriel.)
Ladies, are you alright?
 
ALL except LINDA: Go away.  (Devil shows Gabriel the door.)
 
DEVIL: (uses Gabriel as a puppet,) Sorry, to disturb you. Come back some
other time.
 
LINDA: (to Watcher,) Watchers are fourth dimensional beings who have been
testing humans over the centuries, the same as Jo has been testing the
chair.
 
WATCHER: Spaceship?  Human testing?
 
DEVIL: (to Linda,) You are correct my dear.  Humans are merely someone's out
of control experiment.
 
JO: (to Devil,) When did you become an authority on the relationships of
humans, angels, aliens and devils?
 
WATCHER: Jo, you have been dating the devil.  (Chair nods as best as a chair
can nod.)
 
DEVIL: Angels are Gods' data collectors, security guards.
 
JO: (to Watcher,) Do I detect jealously?
 
DEVIL: I'm jealous.
 
WATCHER: Dave is the devil.  (Chair nods.)
 
JO: Dave is not the devil.
 
WATCHER: Have you asked your chair?  (Chair turns slightly.)
 
JO: I am not in the habit of asking chairs anything.
 
WATCHER: Your chair thinks Dave is the devil.  (Watchers places hand on
chair.) Jo, it even tried to warn you.  Trust me.  I am your guardian angel.
 
JO: I don't believe in angels.
 
LINDA: You don't even really believe in the devil.  (Red light over Linda
and Devil.)
 
DEVIL: Do you believe I am Satan, Linda?  (Devil grabs Linda by arm.)  I'd
love to experiment on you.  I know a nice place.
 
LINDA: No!
 
JO: Stop!  Get out of this house, now !
 
WATCHER: Leave her alone.  (Watcher pulls Linda from one side, as the Devil
tries to keep his grip on Linda.  Michael and Gabriel enter.  Gabriel is
dressed as a traditional angel. Michael is a pulsating spot over couch.)
 
MICHAEL: Devil be gone!  (Red light goes off.  Linda is thrown out of the
way by the Watcher.)
 
GABRIEL: Fear not, for I bring you great tidings of great joy.  For you will
see justice. (Thunder, lightning, smoke.  Gabriel and Watcher exchange blows
with Devil.  The lights blackout.  Michael and Devil exit.)
 
LINDA: What happened to the lights?  (Lights up.)
 
JO: Dave's gone!  So is the--was it really an angel?
 
WATCHER: (Congratulates Gabriel.)  Nice rescue.
 
GABRIEL: Done with style and eloquence.
 
LINDA: I never thought I'd be relieved to see someone depart, so suddenly.
 
JO: (to Linda,) Yeah, me too.
 
WATCHER: (to Jo,) I warned you.  Why wouldn't you listen?
 
JO: I didn't want to believe you.  (Jo turns away from the Watcher, and
examines the area where the Devil disappeared.)  What did you do to my
living room?
 
WATCHER: I did not do anything to your living room.
 
GABRIEL: Lightning struck your radiator.
 
WATCHER: It caused a leak.
 
GABRIEL: Lightning hit your radiator a second time.
 
WATCHER: Two inches to the right of the first strike.
 
GABRIEL: And then welded close the leaking hot water.
 
JO: (to Watcher,) Was that your doing?
 
WATCHER: I am your guardian angel, remember?  (Jo gives the Watcher a look
of realization.)
 
LINDA: (examines room,) That was an act of God.
 
GABRIEL: It was indeed.  (Curtain closes.)
 

scene ten
 
(Curtain opens.  Spot light comes up on Jo, who sits in chair reading book.
The Watcher enters clothed in the traditional dress of an angel.  The
Watcher stands behind Jo, puts his hands over her eyes, then gives her a
kiss.  Jo looks up at the Watcher and smiles.  The chair gives Jo a hug.
Lights fade to black.)

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